Well, it’s been an exhaustive investigation. And it’s been a drain on the public purse. But we have no evidence that last week’s result against Notts County was an elaborate and early April Fool’s jape. Sorry about that. It’s as you thought. Just a piss-poor day at the office that (finally) killed off the idea we might somehow make the playoffs this term. At least it was clear. Didn’t be left not knowing now, did we?
The boss, however, has come up with a clever little forfeit for his band of red and white men. He’s sending ’em all on a trip of redemption. Like Moses or Jesus or one of those lads, who went into the desert for a few weeks. It’s all there in the Bible. But we’re going somewhere equally testing on the senses. The fact we were meant to be playing Grimsby away anyway is just a happy logistical coincidence.
Grimsby Town v Stevenage: The Lowdown
And now just ‘arf a dozen left to play. But how to keep ourselves amused as we drift towards the summer? We can, y’know, always try and work out if we’ll finish with more wins than defeats, or the other way round. We’re on 15 wins and 16 defeats, so it’s all to play for. Quite frankly, this level of excitement means you can stick that promotion battle. Just wait ’til we monetise this too. Grimsby Town v Stevenage never seemed more vital.
The Opposition
P5 W3 D1 L1 F8 A6; last result: Stevenage 1-0 Grimsby Town, 22/09/2018
On one hand, our record early doors against the Mariners ain’t that bad. Just one defeat so far, though it was a biggie – shipping five goals in our first-ever encounter. But it’s only going to be the sixth time we’ve met, which might not be enough to show we’ve got this one. And we’re still yet to beat ’em at Blundell Park. All three wins of ours have been indoors, so you can just as easily say they’re unbeaten at home against us.
The Referee
P13 W6 D2 L5 F16 A15; last result: Cambridge United 2-0 Stevenage, 05/01/2019
Oh for fu… – it’s Trevor Kettle. Now, despite a unique interpretation of the laws and ‘interesting’ management of games, we hadn’t been doing too badly when he showed up. Well, that was true as of the end of the 2016-7 campaign. Since then, it’s been three defeats on the bounce. That includes the dismal 2-0 defeat at Cambridge back in January. Boy, we really do have something about losing to teams in strife. And that takes us onto…
The Form
… how things have been in the last few weeks for them and us. And the answer? Erm, pretty poor. We’ve taken seven points from 24 on offer, which is one more than our hosts – who have the joint-worst form in the division when you look at the past eight games. So, this is going to be a scrap between two teams bang out of nick and finding points hard to come by. And it’ll likely take up 10-15 seconds at the end of the highlights show. If that.
Grimsby are without a win in their last seven games, and haven’t scored indoors for three games now. But their defence isn’t too shabby. They’ve conceded two fewer goals than us this season. At least we can come into this one knowing we’re unbeaten in the last four on our travels. Given we ain’t been all that amazing away from the Lamex, we’ll take that. Even if all four were draws. And even if we reckon that this one will be too.
• MORE ABOUT ‘EM: Grimsby Town club profile
